One Sweet Day
by DJ Lady Moony
Summary: An entire life time in one story: first friendship, then love... and then the heartbreak of an unpreventable loss... but could it have been prevented? Just one of the questions that plauges the mind of Remus Lupin...


_Sorry I never told you all I wanted to say  
And now it's too late to hold you 'cause you've flown away  
So far away_…

Her name was Kathryn Loraine Phoenix, a Celtic beauty with an angel's laughter and a heart of the purest gold. Everyone called her Kate… everyone but me. She was my Katie… my Dear Heart… my Love… the other half of my soul. We met during first year, on the train to Hogwarts… her kitten, Kuro had found his way into the compartment I was sharing with no one but my own, tired self, and decided he needed to cuddle close to me and fall asleep. Katie came in, frantic, thinking someone had taken him… but that all vanished when I handed him over. Her smile… wars could be fought over a smile like hers, a smile that shut you off from the entire world, leaving you alone with her. I didn't know then that I would fight a war for her… but if you told me, I wouldn't have doubted it. I knew just by looking at her, she was the one I wanted… and she was the one I'd never be able to have.  
_  
Never had I imagined living without your smile  
Feeling and knowing you hear me it keeps me alive  
Alive…_

To Katie, I owe some of the best things in my life. After the sorting ceremony, I was at the end of the Gryffindor table, eating alone. Alone was how I did many things, I never thought anything of it. Was I lonely? Yes. Did it matter? No. It couldn't be changed… at least I didn't think so. Not until that night. Three boys around my age came down and sat next to me at the table. James Potter, Sirius Black and Peter Pettigrew had gotten up from their seats and came down to sit next to me, someone they'd never met… and they talked with me like we were all old chums. Years later, after we were all out of school, I would find out that Katie, who had met the trio on the train asked them to come down and sit with me.

"He seems like a nice guy," she told James. "But I think girls make him nervous. Otherwise, I'd go m'self." James insisted that he would have gone down even if she hadn't asked him too, and I'd be a fool not to believe that… but it always made me blush, thinking that Katie cared enough to ask.  
_  
And I know you're shining down on me from heaven  
Like so many friends we've lost along the way  
And I know eventually we'll be together  
(Together)  
One sweet day_

_Eventually I'll see you in heaven..._

In second year, she and my Marauder friends discovered my secret. They found out that I was a werewolf. I expected anger, hatred… and I got it from Katie. She was mad as hell that I thought she and my friends would abandon me if they found out. Her normally dark brown eyes seemed to turn fiery red and her face scrunched up, making her look like a bullmastiff terrier… and I couldn't help but laugh.

"Damn ye, Remus Lupin!" she said, trying not to laugh herself. "Don' ye be laughin' when I's scoldin' ya!" James and Sirius, who always playfully teased Katie about her accent, burst out laughing, causing her and Peter to do the same. The last thing I ever expected was the four of them to burst out laughing at a moment as serious as this (No pun intended), but they did… and Katie punched me as hard as she possibly could on the shoulder.

"Ow!" I cried, rubbing the now bruised area, a look of complete shock in my eyes. I wasn't alone, James, Sirius and Peter were standing there with their jaws hanging open. My Katie hated violence (yet she played Quidditch, go figure), so seeing her strike someone was a once in a lifetime event. "What was that for!"

"For thinkin' we'd e're abandon ya!" she yelled, angrily. "Ye may not understand this, but these three boys an' I love ya. We ain't gon' leave ya, letcha down… I promise ya that… except for ri' now, 'cause I better leave 'fore I punch ya harder." With that, she walked away, muttering softly… all I could do was smile.  
_  
Darling, I never showed you (I never showed you)  
Assumed you'd always be there (I thought you'd always be there)  
I took your presence for granted but I always cared  
(but I always cared)  
And I miss the love we shared_

Through the next few years, those four wonderful people kept my secret… and three of them gave me one to keep as well. James, Sirius and Peter learned to transfigure themselves into animals, becoming Animagi… becoming Prongs, Padfoot and Wormtail. Katie, who had joined us on many adventures before this, also became an Animagi… but we didn't find out about that until after school was over. She never joined the four Marauders in the Shrieking Shack.  
_  
And I know you're shining down on me from heaven  
Like so many friends we've lost along the way  
And I know eventually we'll be together  
(together)  
One sweet day_

_Eventually I'll see you in heaven_

In 1978, we graduated from Hogwarts. The Marauders said their goodbyes at platform 9 ¾ and in the end it was just Katie and I. There was a full moon that night, so I knew I had to get going… that's when she told me about 'Silver, the white wolf.' Her Animagi form.

"You never told me about this!" I exclaimed. "You could have been with us, in the Shrieking Sha…"

"That was your thing," she replied, cutting me off. "Ya four boys didn't need to be havin' me aroun' all the time, but I've always loved Professor McGonagall's transfiguration classes, and thought 'what the hell'?" She took my hand, smiling softly. "But… if ya be needin' me tonite… I've got nothin' t'do."

_Although the sun will never shine the same I'll always look to a brighter day_  
_Yeah, Lord I know when I lay me down to sleep  
You will always listen as I pray_

I did need her that night. That night and every night for the rest of my life, I knew I needed her to be with me. But… I never told her that. Partly because I didn't need to- Katie was always there. I was never good at expressing myself, but I didn't need to with her. Somehow… she always knew how I was feeling, what I was thinking… but it didn't work the other way around. I never asked. She didn't say. Everyday, I wish I'd asked…  
_  
And I know you're shining down on me from heaven  
Like so many friends we've lost along the way  
And I know eventually we'll be together  
(together)  
One sweet day_

I was going to ask her. Ask her how she felt, ask her if she was all right… ask her to marry me. I was going to tell her how much she meant to me… how much I loved her, how much I'd always loved her… but I didn't get the chance.

It was her birthday, October 17th of 1981. She was going to be twenty and I had everything planned out perfectly: Dinner at her favorite restaurant, the Lodge on Tiger Moon Lake followed by dancing under the stars… and then to the Three Broomsticks, where we'd had our first date. That's where I was going to ask her to be my wife, at the same table we'd sat at all those year before… where I kissed her for the first time. It was going to be perfect… until _they_ showed up.

Dementors of Azkaban. What they were doing at the lake that night… I can only guess that they were sent by Death Eaters. Peter… I didn't know he was the traitor at the time, but he knew that I was the best at the Patronus Charm… and he knew the thing what would hurt me the most… seeing my Katie taken away by something I should have been able to stop. She was given the Dementor's Kiss… I was inside, getting us both something to drink, she was waiting for me on a bench… when I came out, she was just lying there, the Dementor standing over her.

"KATIE!" I yelled. "EXPECTO PATRONUS!" I fired at him… he left… but the damage was done. I ran to her side, shaking her. "Katie… Katie, please wake up… don't leave me… please…"

_And I know you're shining down on me from heaven  
__Like so many friends we've lost along the way  
__And I know eventually we'll be together  
__(together)  
__One sweet day_

* * *

Remus J. Lupin put down his quill and closed the old, leather-bound diary he'd kept since he was a young boy. Tonight seemed like as good a night as any to finally write what he was feeling. It was a week before the next full moon, he was alone… almost alone.

In a bed next to his desk, eyes closed and face pale, was Kate. She'd been here, in this room at Saint Mungo's since the night of the Dementor's Kiss… almost sixteen years ago. She looked as beautiful as ever, Remus thought, touching her cheek with the back of his hand. He leaned down and kissed her forehead.

"Good night, Katie," he whispered, just like he'd done every night since she'd left him (with the exception of his year of teaching at Hogwarts and full moons). "I love you… I always have. I always will… and I'll be waiting for you to come back to me." He tucked her in snuggly, turned off the light and walked out. Someday, his Katie would come back to him. He just needed to wait… and for her, he'd wait forever. Someday he'd meet her in heaven... when she was back in his arms.

_Sorry I never told you  
__All I wanted to say…_


End file.
